Bobby McWheeler’s upside down world of motoring
The top stories from 2007. Bobby is not appearing as a celebrity anywhere

1.
Norfolk Constabulary are investigating a collision between a cow and a Fiat Brava that caused traffic chaos for rush hour polluters. The animal is believed to have escaped from a nearby field before being hit by a neatly (re)styled European Car of the Year 2005. The rest of the herd have been detained indefinitely in their barn until a full investigation is carried out.

2.
Green travel plans to and from a major campus on the outskirts of the Scottish capital city have caused traffic chaos.Irate motorists were forced not to drive over a line of five cyclists on Edinburgh’s narrow Newcraighall Road. “The current cycling facilities are only adequate for three bikes an hour. What we have here is a militant minority refusing to drive, pay exorbitant train fares or spend 45 minutes on a bus. Encouraging green travel is fine but not in an area that relies on cars for traffic congestion.” commented Environmental Studies lecturer Arnold Clark.

3.
A partially sighted driver (not called Mhairi McFocall) caused traffic chaos by driving the wrong way on the wrong side of a single track road near Ullapool. Her car was later recovered from Loch Broom along with a large quantity of digestive biscuits. Disappointed police officers placed a low street value on the haul as they had all gone soggy. A fresh pack of HobNobs has been submitted to the Procurator Fiscal.